Aliens Hold Press Release Conference For Latest Upgrades In Anal Probe Technologies

Published:

Spokesman Bill Gates and Anthony Fauci deliver opening statements

An alien press release conference for anal probe technology upgrades, by Bill Gates, Anthory Fauci and pals.

Bill began:

"We have to keep everybody safe, so all peoples of the world are now required to have an implantable ancillary device embedded into their large intestinal canal at all times. This tech will also allow you to learn a new language in seconds, buy and sell at will, and have video conference with their loved ones wherever they are! The benefits are simply tremendous!"

The crowd ooo-ed and aaah-ed. He then proceeded:

"We assure you that these devices are BPA and pthalate free, environmentally friendly, and we're going to donate 10% of our profits to global warming."

An eager Apple fan exclaimed:

"An ancillary satellite that can do my taxes!?!? WHAT INOVATION!! They have done it again! SIGN ME UP!! I'll take 6 so I can get 6 times the benefit!!".

As a closing statement, an alien named )̵̻̦͉͕̟́̓̐̽̕͜#̵͎̝̙̾͘͠(̸̠͚͎͌̿̈́!̸̫̼͕̀̈́͠%̵̼̟̝͊̀͑$̵͎̦̙̓̒̒*̸͍͍̠͊̾̚Ș̴̢͖͛͒͑͊͆͝, commented:

"Free suckers will be given to the first 6 million customers."

A throng of investors and supporters immediately lined up.

FUN FACT: statistically, 9/10 people enjoy rape!

Don't let them probe you!

Fight to the death!

<:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Stand back foul demons! <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

--Kevin

Hover to share Hover to share Share+
SMS BRIGHTEON. SOCIAL MEWE H DIGG SU in Share by email Share by email Share by SMS Share by SMS Share by Gab Share by Gab Share by Telegram Share by Telegram Share by Minds Share by Minds Share by Diaspora Share by Diaspora Share by Brighteon.social Share by Brighteon.social Share by MEWE Share by MEWE Share on Hacker News Share on Hacker News Share by VK Share by VK Share by Pocket Share by Pocket Share by Digg Share by Digg Share by Stumble Upon Share by Stumble Upon Share by Delicious Share by Delicious Share by WhatsApp Share by WhatsApp Share by Reddit Share by Reddit Share by Parler Share by Parler Share by LinkedIn Share by LinkedIn Share by FaceBook Share by FaceBook Share by Twitter Share by Twitter Share by Pinterest Share by Pinterest Share by Tumblr Share by Tumblr

Similar Posts

Most popular posts

Stay updated with tips by subscribing to my rss 2 or atom 1 feeds, or signing up to my email list.

0 comments

There are no comments yet.

Add a new comment: